Quick Discipline Strategies

Use humor. As in my friend's approach, a good laugh helps break the tension. Instead of backing the child into a corner, you let him know that Hey, this is nothing serious. I'm in control so you are safe. We can work this out. I love you.
Use eye contact. Don't call out your instructions from another room if you are really serious about wanting it done. If you're not that serious, just don't bother. Wait until you get into the room with her and make sure that she is looking at you with full attention.
Don't say OK? We often say something like, 'I need you to pick up those clothes, OK?' It's a natural phrase to say when we feel relaxed and good-humored. Better to be direct though, and just point out what needs to be done and when, 'Your clothes are on the floor. Pick them up before you get out that toy.'
Walk away. The message of your body language should be that you have full confidence that your child is going to comply with what you just said. If you walk back through the room and it hasn't been done, give a warning of the consequence. Then, walk away.
Stop talking about it. Quit nagging, placating, lecturing, or preaching. Use one word reminders. Briefly, make certain that your expectation is clear and the consequences are understood. If necessary, implement consequences unemotionally and without discussion.
Use a kitchen timer. From Elaine Gibson at SMU, this is a powerful tool that will get your child's attention and prevent you from letting noncompliance slide by unnoticed.
Institute a chore chart or token system. These can be done without much trouble and may be an appealing intervention for Dad to supervise. It may seem like a hassle to set up, but it can be a time saver. Have a family meeting. It should be somewhat structured with all family members present.

From Kimberly L. Keith, former About.com Guide

10 Tips for Parents of Autistic Children

Parents who have autistic children face unique challenges in raising their kids. Beyond knowing what medications and what types of intervention are most helpful, parents must understand the best ways to interact with their child, and how to incorporate the disease into their everyday lives. Here are 10 tips to help parents of autistic children

1. Try to understand your child’s behaviors.

   Most children are not bad intentionally; they just react differently to stimulants. In fact, a study by the University of Wisconsin-Madison found that autistic children are more likely perceive eye contact, even from a familiar person, as a threat. What is it that bothers your child? Understanding what most affects your child will help you solve-and possibly prevent-issues quickly and effectively.

2. Find positive outlets for socially “unusual” behavior.

   Shouting may be frowned upon in many indoor places, but going to a park to do so is acceptable for children. An action that may be out of place in one location may be perfectly tolerable in another.

3. Provide sensory input…

   Children with autism need sensory care, whether in the form of a strong hug or playfully rolled in a blanket.

4. …But avoid too much.

   If your child’s autism makes him or her react strongly to things like carnivals or parades, stay away from those situations whenever possible. If you can’t, try a distracting sensory toy like a teddy bear to hug.

5. Don’t let past parenting traditions bog you down.

   A child with autism will have different habits than most, so be open to modifying your expectations and habits to coincide with what your child needs. The Autism Society of America (ASA) says that it’s normal for families to struggle with how to spend time with the family as a whole. It recommends making time for your autistic child and non-autistic children separately, in addition to bringing them together for some activities. 

6. Take pride and joy in your child’s success.

   Though autistic children may not be the star of the school play or captain of the tee ball team, they may have other skills. For example, a study conducted the University of London found that children with autism tend to have superior tone recognition abilities, often making them gifted musicians.

7. Remember your child is not trying to embarrass you.

   The ASA notes that some parents resist taking their children places out of concern for how they will behave. The holidays, in particular, can be challenging for children with autism because their normal routines are disrupted and the loud noises associated with celebrations may be overwhelming. Try to prepare your child for these events by explaining to them ahead of time what to expect.

8. Modify your child’s environment for safety.

   With the extensive need for sensory input, autistic children may seek it in unorthodox, often unsafe places. Be sure to latch cabinets, soften table corners, and put a deadbolt on the front door. The ASA even recommends labeling certain items or putting “stop signs” on drawers and cabinets that your child should not open to remind them what’s off limits.

9. Find ways to have fun.

   Though autism can be incredibly stressful for parents, try to have fun with your child. For example, enjoy the cuddling and tickling as fun activities rather than therapeutic outlets.

10. Learn to deal with your anger and frustration.

    Providing specialized care and intervention can be emotionally challenging and financially demanding. In fact, one study from the University of Missouri showed that some parents spend as much as $30,000 a year on behavioral therapy for their children, while others have reported filing for bankruptcy, spending their retirement savings, and skipping meals to cover costs. To help cope, remember to take time for yourself and use support groups and online resources to try to connect with other families who have children with autism.                                                                                http://www.qualityhealth.com/autism-articles/10-tips-parents-autistic-children

10 Ways to simplify life as a working mom

By Laura T. Coffey - MSNBC 

All moms are working moms, and all moms face the challenge of prioritizing how they spend their time. Time management becomes absolutely critical, though, for mothers who must devote 40 to 50 precious hours a week to a job. For women in such situations, it’s crucial to streamline and simplify pretty much every imaginable area of life.

The following tips may not solve every time-management challenge that confronts you, but hopefully they’ll help you think about ways to simplify and save time as you manage your own unique schedule and circumstances.

1. Have places and times for key items and tasks. If you’re constantly tripping over shoes, losing library books or running late in the mornings because your kids can’t find their backpacks, homework or school books, something’s got to change. It may be time to institute a system for packing up backpacks with all necessary contents and leaving them by the door before bedtime — no exceptions. Baskets and low-cost storage bins also can help you organize the most troublesome items in your life. As for tasks, having a rough idea of when you’ll tackle them can give you a sense of calm throughout the week. For instance, if you know that you’ll run errands on Fridays after work (when stores, post offices and other establishments are less crowded) and you’ll do laundry on Sunday mornings, you won’t feel your blood pressure rise at the thought of trying to cram those activities into already jam-packed workdays.

2. Smooth out the bumps in your mornings. Mornings are exceptionally rough for many working moms. It can be hard enough to get yourself ready, out the door and off to work on time, right? Well, that whole process becomes exponentially harder when you have to wake, feed, clothe, pack for and transport a small human being in addition to yourself. Here are some ideas for helping you wrest control of your mornings and arrive to work on time, despite all the challenges involved:

• Do as much as you possibly can the night before. Set out clothes for the next day — both for yourself and for your child. Pack lunches. Make sure diaper bags, backpacks and work satchels are completely packed and ready to go.
• Wake up one full hour before your child does. This will allow you to drink coffee, get dressed, take care of your own pre-work tasks and get breakfast staged before the kids get moving. Once they do wake up, you’ll feel less harried because you’ll be able to focus your attention on them.
• Plan to arrive everywhere 30 minutes early. (Note: You’ll probably never arrive anywhere 30 minutes early.) But this mindset of trying to arrive early will give you a much better shot at showing up where you’re supposed to be on time.

3. Feed kids on your terms. Here are some ideas that can help you save both time and money:

• Invest in a crock pot if you don’t have one. And while you’re at it, invest in a good crock-pot or one-pot cookbook that’s tailor-made for people who are insanely busy. With some lickety-split advance planning over a weekend, you can devise a menu plan for the week that will allow you to come home from work each day and swoon with gratitude and relief because the house smells so good.
• If the idea of devising a menu plan for the week makes you roll your eyes because it sounds too exhausting, pretend your boss is requiring it of you and your next performance evaluation and raise will hinge on whether or not you do it. You’d probably be able to knock out a simple menu plan and jot down a workable grocery list in 20 to 30 minutes — if that — if you had to do it for your job.
• Breakfast for dinner is A-OK. Why not have some eggs, toast, hash browns and bacon or sausage for dinner every now and then? It’s fast and simple, and your kids will love it. Just serve some fruit along with it or load up the egg dish with a bunch of vegetables and you’ll feel even better about going this route.
• Remember other easy options that kids love. Quesadillas, omelets and grilled-cheese sandwiches are almost always popular with kids, and they’re easy for harried parents to make. You can also incorporate ingredients and/or toppings that you know your kids will like.
• Get your kids to help you in the kitchen. Here’s some advice from my friend Rebekah Denn, a talented food writer and mom: “Enlisting young kids to help with the cooking usually makes everyone happier. The children are interacting with me instead of trying to get my attention. I can say something like, ‘Can you grate this cheese for me?’ or, ‘Can you crack the eggs in a big bowl?’ instead of, ‘I’m cooking dinner, I’ll talk to you when I’m done.’ ”
• When packing lunches for school, do it the night before with your kids’ help. This will save you precious morning time and increase the odds that the food you bother to pack will actually be eaten.
• In your car and in a sacred spot of your home, keep two separate stacks of take-out menus for restaurants that serve reasonably priced food that has at least some redeeming nutritional value. When everything blows up in your face during a busy week, don’t feel guilty about opting for a take-out meal that everyone will like.

4. Stockpile important gear in important places. The gear will keep changing as your child ages, but the principle will remain the same: Store stuff where you’re likely to need it so you can save yourself time and frustration. For example, a low-height, lidded plastic container in the trunk of your car or on the floor of the backseat could contain these sorts of items:

• Baby wipes (no matter how old your kid is);
• Toilet paper or tissue;
• Paper towels;
• Change of clothes for each kid, along with diapers if needed;
• Snacks that won’t melt and/or go bad, such as fruit leather;
• A big beach towel, which can double as a blanket when needed;
• Band-Aids;
• Toys and books.

In that same vein, you can keep all bath-related items in a basket near the tub so you won’t be tempted to leave young kids unattended while you rush off to get something you forgot.

5. Juggle kids’ after-school activities. If you’re working full time, you simply may not be able to attend every single activity that your child does. Your whole family needs to understand that and banish guilt about this area of life once and for all. That said, you often can make arrangements to attend the events that matter most, especially if you have plenty of notice for those events. And you also can find ways to help out your kid’s teacher and school by offering to do tasks that won’t require you to make an appearance in person during regular school hours. Just ask the teacher what you can do during your off hours; he or she will appreciate it, and that’s good for your kid.

When it comes to choosing activities for your children to pursue, keep these general principles in mind:

• Be sure they really want to do it. Otherwise this activity may become far too frustrating for everyone involved, and you don’t have time for that.
• Ideally choose an activity that’s close to home. My buddy Heath Foster, a longtime journalist and mom of three, gave me this advice: “Never drive more than 10 miles for a weekly activity. It’s not worth the hassle unless you are trying to create an Olympic athlete or it is something they are unbelievably passionate about.”
• Make friends with other parents who may be able to give your kids rides to activities when you can’t. Be sure to return the favor in ways that fit into your schedule.
• My friend Heath also pointed out that it can be wise to limit activities for kids. “The simpler your child’s schedule, the less distracting their needs will be during the day,” she said. “Kids really don’t need to be as busy as we keep them to be happy.” She said she typically tries to let her kids choose two activities each — one active and one creative — although she sometimes breaks that rule if the circumstances truly call for it.

6.Make sure you’re not slipping at work. Especially in this economy, you’ve got to keep your game face on. This applies no matter how many times you had to get up in the middle of the night the previous evening to tend to an inexplicably crying kid. In rare cases — cases that involve an unusually empathetic boss — you can talk to your employer about what’s upending your personal life and making you so bleary-eyed. In general, though, it’s typically best to keep that sort of soul-baring to a minimum and throw your shoulder into the work at hand. Otherwise, you may get branded the wrong way in the workplace and your advancement could suffer for it.

What are you supposed to do, though, if you’re feeling a nervous breakdown coming on? Here are some ideas:

• Take a personal day every few months. That’s the whole point of personal days: to meet your personal needs. While the kids are at school and you don’t have to pay for a babysitter, spend an entire day in bed if necessary.
• Use break times and lunch breaks to play catch-up. Be extremely careful about handling personal business — making pediatrician appointments, checking the school district’s calendar online and so forth — during your regular work hours. Your activities may be monitored. Take on such tasks only during designated break times.
• Find allies where you can. Fellow moms at work may understand what you’re going through and prove to be excellent confidantes. If you have genuinely trustworthy friends at work, vent to them about your travails — not to your boss.

7.Devise a system for tackling housework. Every household is different, and every mom you meet will have different standards and sentiments about how to handle the never-ending obligation of keeping a home clean. Here are some overarching ideas that may be helpful, however:

• Make sure your kids are pitching in. Sometimes — or, heck, much of the time — it may seem easier to do everything yourself so it will be done the way you want. But it’s good for your kids to have a share in keeping the house clean and neat. It will teach them the importance of teamwork and give them survival skills and beneficial habits that will last a lifetime. Even children as young as 3 and 4 can pick up their toys, put garbage in the trash can, water plants and help feed pets. To eyeball a chore-readiness chart and see what kids typically can handle at different ages, click here.
• Divvy up tasks with your partner. If you’re both working, you’re both tired — and it’s only fair that you should both share the work that needs to be done around the house. Play to each other’s strengths when deciding who will be responsible for what.
• If you can possibly afford it, do some outsourcing. Even if you can only spring for cleaning help once a month, it’s better than nothing — especially considering how exhausted you probably are. Farming out some duties to reasonably priced hired help can prove to be both a sanity saver and a marriage saver.
• If your child-care provider comes to your home, make sure that person is willing to do at least some light cleaning. Your home — or at least your main living areas — should feel neat and organized when you walk in the door.
• Don’t be a perfectionist anymore. Maybe your home was always immaculate before you had kids. That was the past. Let it go. You can allow spotlessness and perfection to reign once again after your kids have left for college.

8. Carve out time for romance. Make arrangements for a date night, put that night on your calendar — and don’t break the date! No matter how tired you are! Plan the night several weeks out if necessary so you’ll have plenty of time to make babysitting arrangements. Also, anticipating the upcoming night out will be half the fun. Have the babysitter stay until the kiddos have definitely gone to bed so the two of you will have an entire evening together, just the two of you. Another idea: Once or twice a year, coordinate personal days or vacation days where the two of you stay home together while the kids head off to school.

9. Maintain at least some semblance of a social life. Much like those scheduled date nights with your partner, you can make specific plans with your close friends and add those details to your calendar as well. If at all possible, arrange to have Dad watch the kids so you can really and truly get caught up with girlfriends who matter to you. Or, if necessary, become more laid back about hauling the Pack n’ Play over to a friend’s house and letting junior sleep in an unfamiliar room for an hour or two or three so you can get some adult time on a weekend evening. Yes, this can be semi-inconvenient, and this approach won’t work for every kid — but it can be worth it to give yourself some down time to talk, laugh and preserve important friendships.

10. Remember what matters most. Mother Teresa said it’s not how much you do, but how much love you put into the doing that matters. Ticking items off of your massive to-do list with great efficiency may feel fabulous — but always stay focused on the big picture. Why is it that you’re trying so hard to be so organized and knock so many items off your list, anyway? It’s so you can maximize the time you’re able to spend with your little ones — while they’re still little and they still crave your time and attention. Time that you actually get to spend playing, talking, reading, snuggling, walking and laughing with your kids trumps any errand, e-mail message or chore in importance. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and your son or daughter wants to talk, just take a deep breath, settle down and start listening. That pile of laundry can wait.

Sources and resources:

• “Working Mom’s 411: How to Manage Kids, Career & Home,” by Michelle LaRowe (Regal, $14.99)
• “Chicken Soup for the Working Mom’s Soul,” by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and Patty Aubery (Health Communications Inc., $14.95)
• Journalist and working mom Heath Foster
• Reporter, food writer, blogger and working mom Rebekah Denn

© 2011 MSNBC Interactive.  Reprints

10 healthy eating tips for kids

Do you remember when you learned to ride a bike? The most important part was getting the balance right. Once you could balance easily, the pedals could turn smoothly, to drive the wheels and get the bike moving.
The same thing is true when it comes to choosing our food. Once we have learned to carefully balance the amounts and types of foods eaten, all the organs in the body will function smoothly and the body will work efficiently.
Following these ten tips will help you stay fit and healthy. It’s as easy as riding a bike, once you’ve got the balance right!

1. Food is Fun… Enjoy your food

Sharing a meal with family and friends at home or at school is a great way to enjoy food. It is fun to see other people’s choice of food - what sandwich fillings do others have? Have you tried having a different filling every day? Check out your lunch box or dinner plate. How many different kinds of fruit and vegetables can you spot?

2. Breakfast is a very important meal

Our bodies always need energy, and after a night’s sleep, energy levels are low. Cars, buses and trains cannot run without fuel. So, whether you are off to school, or out and about at the weekend, start the day with breakfast. Plenty of carbohydrates is just the ticket: try cereal with semi-skimmed milk, fruit or yoghurt, toast or bread, perhaps with lean meats.

3. Eat lots of different foods every day, variety is the recipe for health

You need over 40 different kinds of vitamins and minerals every day for good health. Since there is no single food that contains them all, it is important to balance your daily choices. In fact there are no good or bad foods, so you do not need to miss out on the foods you enjoy. The best way to make sure you get the right balance is to eat a wide variety of foods each day.

4. Which group would you tip for the top? Base your food on carbohydrates

Many people don’t eat enough carbohydrate foods, such as cereals, rice, pasta, potatoes and bread. At least half the calories in your diet should come from these foods, so it is a good idea to include at least one of these at every meal. Try whole-grain bread, pasta and other cereals to give you extra fibre. Have you tried baking your own bread? It’s good fun and smells wonderful!

5. Gimme five! Eat fruits and vegetables with each meal and as tasty snacks!

Fruits and vegetables are among the most important foods for giving us enough vitamins, minerals and fibre. We should all try to eat 5 servings a day. For example, a glass of fruit juice at breakfast, perhaps an apple and banana as snacks and two vegetables at meal times then you have already reached your total. How many different kinds can you spot in the supermarket? Why not try some new ones?

6. Fat facts. Too much saturated fat is not good for your health

Eating too many of those tasty, fatty foods (such as butter, spreads, fried meats and sausages, pies and pastries) might not always be so good for your body. So remember, a big helping of potatoes, but go easy on the butter. Although we need some fats to get all the nutrients we need, it is better for our health if we don’t eat too much of these foods and get knocked off balance. So, if you have a high-fat lunch, choose a low-fat dinner.

7. Snack attack! Eat regularly and choose a variety of snacks

Even if you eat regular meals during the day, there will still be times in between that you feel hungry, especially if you have been very physically active. Snacks can fill the gap, but should not be eaten in place of meals, only as an extra. There are lots of different snacks available. Your choice may be crisps, nuts and other packet snacks, chocolate bars, cakes and biscuits. On other occasions, you may prefer a sandwich, some fresh or dried fruits, or perhaps sticks of vegetables like carrots and celery. Whichever snack you enjoy, remember it is always good to include a variety of different types to keep things in balance.

8. Quench your thirst. Drink plenty of liquids

Did you know that more than half of your weight is just water? So as well as giving your body all the food it needs each day to keep healthy, you need at least 5 glasses of liquids a day. It is particulary important if the weather is very hot or if you have done lots of exercise, to have plenty to drink to prevent dehydration. Usually – but not always – your body will tell you this, by making you feel thirsty. Plain tap water is great of course, but bottled water, fruit juices, tea, soft drinks, milk and so on, can all be okay too.

9. Care for those teeth! Brush your teeth at least twice a day

Brush your teeth at least twice a day. Eating foods high in sugar or starches too often during the day can play a part in tooth decay. So don’t nibble foods and sip drinks all day long! However, the best way to keep a nice smile is to brush your teeth twice a day with a fluoride toothepaste. Also, after brushing your teeth at bedtime, don’t eat any food, or drink anything but water!

10. Get moving! Be active every day

Just like a bike may become rusty if it is not used for some time, our muscles and bones need to be kept moving too. Activity is needed to keep your heart healthy and your bones strong. It can also be good fun. Try to include some form of activity every day: it may be just walking to school and running up the stairs. However, games like skipping and football at break times are good fot giving the body a workout. Swimming is a particularly good sport for keeping you healthy.

by EUFIC

The Five Essential Components of Reading

         
June 30, 2011.

Reading with children and helping them practice specific reading components can dramatically improve their ability to read. Scientific research shows that there are five essential components of reading that children must be taught in order to learn to read. Adults can help children learn to be good readers by systematically practicing these five components:

• Recognizing and using individual sounds to create words, or phonemic awareness. Children need to be taught to hear sounds in words and that words are made up of the smallest parts of sound, or phonemes.
• Understanding the relationships between written letters and spoken sounds, or phonics. Children need to be taught the sounds individual printed letters and groups of letters make. Knowing the relationships between letters and sounds helps children to recognize familiar words accurately and automatically, and "decode" new words.
• Developing the ability to read a text accurately and quickly, or reading fluency. Children must learn to read words rapidly and accurately in order to understand what is read. When fluent readers read silently, they recognize words automatically. When fluent readers read aloud, they read effortlessly and with expression. Readers who are weak in fluency read slowly, word by word, focusing on decoding words instead of comprehending meaning.
• Learning the meaning and pronunciation of words, or vocabulary development. Children need to actively build and expand their knowledge of written and spoken words, what they mean and how they are used.
• Acquiring strategies to understand, remember and communicate what is read, or reading comprehension strategies. Children need to be taught comprehension strategies, or the steps good readers use to make sure they understand text. Students who are in control of their own reading comprehension become purposeful, active readers.   ed.gov

Tips for Bedwetting Prevention

Bedwetting can damage the child's self-image and confidence. The best way to prevent this is to be supportive. Parents should reassure the child that bedwetting is a common problem and that they are confident that the child will overcome the problem.

Here are some tips to help your child cope with bedwetting:

• Focus on the problem: bedwetting. Avoid blaming or punishing your child. Remember, your child cannot control the bedwetting, and blaming and punishing just make the problem worse.
• Be patient and supportive. Reassure and encourage your child often. Do not make an issue out the bedwetting each time it happens.
• Enforce a "no teasing" rule in the family. No one is allowed to tease the child about the bedwetting, including those outside the immediate family. Do not discuss the bedwetting in front of other family members.
• Encourage responsibility. Help your child understand that the responsibility for being dry is his or hers and not that of the parents. Reassure your child that you want to help him or her overcome the problem. In addition, have your child help in the clean-up process.
• Make clean-up easy. To increase comfort and reduce damage, use washable absorbent sheets, waterproof bed covers, and room deodorizers.

Tips to Prevent Bedwetting

Along with supporting your child emotionally, there are a number of steps you can take that may help reduce the number of bedwetting accidents. Here are more tips.

• Reduce evening fluid intake. Do not give your child anything to drink in the 2 hours before bedtime.
• Have your child go to the bathroom before getting into bed.
• Set a goal for your child of getting up at night to use the toilet. Instead of focusing on making it through the night dry, help your child understand that it is more important to wake up every night to use the toilet.
• Make sure the child has easy access to the toilet. Clear the path from his or her bed to the toilet and install night-lights. Provide a portable toilet if necessary.
• Reward your child for remaining dry. A system of sticker charts and rewards works for some children. The child gets a sticker on the chart for every night of remaining dry. A certain number of stickers earn a reward.
• Consider using diapers or pull-ups at night. Some believe that you should avoid using diapers or pull-ups at home because they can interfere with the motivation to wake up and use the toilet. Others argue that pull-ups help the child feel more independent and confident. Talk to your child's doctor to determine what is best for your child.

WebMD Medical Reference

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SOURCE: eMedicine Health.

Reviewed by Jonathan L Gelfand, MD on February 09, 2009

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